I can't stand the way my people think sometimes

I called home to catch up with my mother who told me she was going out to the farm when we chatted, but I wasn't able to catch up. My sisters answered the phone giggling. And I could tell they were not taking me seriously. I felt disrespected and it was like I called for nothing. Well, until my sister Gemma's voice came up and told me that I treat people unfairly. I help our parents unfairly and well, that did it. It made me furious. I was raving; talking out loud. I got really aggressive and serious. I explained to Gemma though that I don't need to explain anything. When I help, I help because I want to and not because I need to. It is simply not my responsibility to help. I don't need to give or help anyone if I don't want to. Moreover, I help when I see it fit. My father owes money here and there sometimes, but I give him money to pay his bills just as I give money to my mother to pay their bills to be able to stay in the city and have food to eat. But goodness! It doesn't mean I have to meet all their needs and give them the same amount of money as if their problems are the same. So, I told my sister that if our mother is not happy about me helping our father pay his bills, then perhaps our mother can do what our father is doing. Because then I would have a reason to give them the same amount of money.
I guess giving them money every month to pay their bills isn't enough, but then my father has nothing like that. I don't give him money every month to pay his bills like that. So...ugh! I am fed up. I have had it with the way my people think. I can no longer stand how they think and how they make me feel. I am trying to help and then I come out the bad guy and that an unfair person on top of it all. This is too much for me to bear. I might stop helping altogether, so I won't hear anyone complaining and bickering over who is getting more help from me, etc. I don't give money for the sake of giving money; not unless it is for a birthday or a holiday. I am sick, I tell you. I am sure a lot of my fellow Filipinas feel the burden and the hassle of how their people also think. It is quite common after all.
By the way, it also insulted me when my sister Gemma just hung up on me. Oh, that irritated me even more. What have I done to be so hated like this? Helping my family back home seems to only give me problems and not joy as like it should be. I am supposed to be enjoying the joy of giving. And certainly not the misery of how I make people feel. That if I help, everybody needs to have the same problem. So, of course, I can give them the same amount of money. If one likes to live in luxury everybody should. Our father is not exactly a saint and he does cost me extra money for how he operates. So, I will have to talk to all of them and tell them that for now I will take a time off. I cannot help them because I should just help myself. I have too many things to worry about than worry about who is not getting the fair treatment. When all I do is try to help those who need help depending on how much they need. I can't just give money away all equally for the sake of worrying about how the other might feel. Not once that when one of them told me they owe money I didn't help or let them down. This is really getting to me...irking the heck out of me. This is why if they feel that I haven’t helped enough, then perhaps I may not help them at all-at least while I have my own problems to solve.

  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS


Post a Comment